Rise of the 4X4 - Loss of My Sleeping Pattern

I am often prone to making terrible mistakes; oftena lot of time struggling through mud and water spend
putting myself or others lives at risk. This has been athe majority of its working life stood still in traffic
recurring theme throughout my life and I'm sure it willjams?"
persist until the day I die...probably in some horrificThe answers to my curiosity, like a regular
incident of my own creation. One of the myriad ofsleeping-pattern, were not forthcoming.
choices that has come back to bite me ratherFurther investigation revealed the majority culprits
fervently on the bottom, was my insistence on movingbehind this unquestionable folly were mainly Range
into a flat on a school road. I moved in on the SundayRovers, Land Cruisers, Explorers and other large
afternoon and regretted my decision at roughly 8 AMpollution machines with equally aspirational titles. By far
on the Monday. I was rudely awoken by streams ofthe strangest title amongst the proverbial pigeons was
traffic roaring and whirring outside my (sadlythe Volkswagen Touareg.
single-glazed) window. I noticed that virtually everyThe Touareg has the distinct advantage over its
vehicle of the seemingly never-ending metalliccompetition of not looking too macho or imposing. Its
pilgrimage bizarrely seemed to be a 4X4, in which satrounded, sporty-looking body was the closest I had
one driver and one child. I marvelled at the sheerseen a 4X4 come to being described as 'eye-candy'.
ridiculousness of the vision before me; hundreds ofNevertheless, sit a parent with a disgruntled expression
vehicles designed to hold many passengers, actuallyon their face along with a snotty-brat-child and any
transporting a bare minimum. "The world has goneillusion of style is lost.
insane", I mused to myself...there was no one round toI, like the majority of British people, have apathy running
hear me so my utterance went unnoticed.through our D.N.A. We are all very much aware of
It would appear that the country has gone slightlyclimate change and genuinely want to slow down the
over-enthusiastic for the 4X4. It seems to haveeffects that industrialisation has had on our planet, but
evolved into some kind of badge of honour, displayingwith so much apathy in our bodies it is often hard to
privilege and wealth, despite the gas-guzzling enginesmotivate ourselves to act in a positive manner. You
draining money a lot faster than most of us would becan't help but feel that those who drive 4X4s on a
able to accrue it. In conversation with others Ischool run for just one child, might be taking one liberty
speculated on the appeal of these vehicles.slightly too many with our fragile environment.
"Why does a vehicle that is designed to spend a lot ofMy conclusion is thus; if you live in a town and want to
time on dirt tracks represent classy living?"buy a 4X4 for the daily school run, then please at least
"Why does a vehicle that is designed to spend a lot offill it to the brim with brats before setting off. It's more
time on farms spend its entire working life in townsenvironmentally conscious that way and I might be able
and cities?"to get some sleep in the mornings.
"Why does a vehicle that has been designed to spend