"Ever Thought of Retiring to Spain?", She Asked

"Ever thought of retiring to Spain?", was her queryOlympics, so we weren't fluent in the language, nor did
when I returned from a particularly tiresome meetingwe have friends there, but I guess we decided that
with an unusually disagreeable client. "How quickly?",we had to start some where, and what the heck! -
was my response. And so it came to pass..."Carpe diem", (or maybe Fugit was starting to Tempe
My wife was becoming restless, after selling up hera bit quick).
pet grooming business, she needed a challenge, aWe had booked a couple of nights at the 3 star
change. She was an avid watcher of "A Place in the"aparthotel" in Benalmadena Costa, (the True Spain??),
Sun", which was on Chanel 4 TV virtually everyand after spending a couple of days acclimatizing and
afternoon around that time.working out a plan, as well as visiting local 'beauty
We were set to sell up the large family home andspots', such as Mick and Tracy's Guinness bar, we
bank the majority of the proceeds, but - what to do?,decided that this part of Spain was definitely not for
where to go? Where in the World, (or at least Europe),us!
could we retire to on our savings? We were'nt due toWe set off inland towards the 'white towns' of
collect any sate or personal pensions for another 9Alhaurin El Grande, Competa, Coin, Pizarra and Alora,
years!which were OK, in a sort of 'raggy round the edges
It was January 2002 when my wife and I, set off inway'.
our slightly dilapidated VW Passat, towing our vastlyDon't get me wrong - I am not knocking these places.
over-loaded Ifor Williams box trailer, replete with ourTo each, his own. Far be it for me to run down towns
life-long possessions, heading for southern Spain.which find much favor among British ex-pats, it's just
We had visited Spain the previous January andthat they weren't what we were looking for as an
'sussed out' the country, by taking an Easyjet flightidyllic spot to retire to.
from Liverpool to Malaga and hiring a Daewoo Matiz, (We had this vision of the "Real Spain" or at least as
which is similar to a dinky toy car, for those of youseen through the eyes of the curvaceous Amanda
unfamiliar with the vehicle), and proceeding to driveLamb, and "A Place in the Sun", (yes by now I had also
2500 miles around Spain in 10 days.gotten addicted, though fairs fair, did you ever get an
Needless to say Georg, the car hire tout at the airport,eyeful of Amanda in 2000?).
who rented it to us, said on seeing the speedometerNot for us the 'kiss me quick' hats and English pubs
when we returned the vehicle: "Ze nes' time senyor,serving Cornish pasties and fish 'n' chips for lunch,
mebbe you rent ze larger car", (or words to thatwhilst watching English soccer on large Sky TV
effect).screens! - we wanted to speak the lingo, fraternise
He was probably starting to regret accosting us in thewith the locals, soak up the culture, do the real Spain
airport forecourt, where after the flight arrived late, andbit, walk the walk and live the dream.
the car hire office had closed, we were stood lookingMy wife, Anne had read "Driving over Oranges" by an
non-plussed. His vehicle had probably depreciated inerstwhile pre Phil Collins Genesis drummer, so a
value by 20% with the additional mileage alone, letdecision was made to head east toward the province
alone the wear and tear.of Granada.
It was only our second visit to the country, and ourIf we didn't like what we found there, we would head
previous visit to Spain had been in August 1993 tofor Almeria, and up the coast of the Costa Blanca
Barcelona. The year after the city had hosted thetoward Valencia. To be continued.