| Blimey. Was I embarrassed or was I embarrassed. | | | | anyone? To make things far worse, there was a new |
| Nipped into my friendly neighbourhood Volkswagen | | | | cat in town which simply blew the Golf away - the |
| dealer last week, put two and two together and came | | | | Honda Civic Type R. The Civic was cheaper than the |
| up with far more than four. The salesmen were all | | | | Golf, faster than the Golf, had bullet-proof reliability and |
| smiles, jovial and ever-so-friendly. Well, with the world in | | | | styling that screamed "speed!" The Type R devoured |
| the state that it is, I figured there was only one | | | | every performance car award going and continued |
| explanation for this frivolity - drugs. I debated how | | | | onwards to head-butting the horizon. However |
| many real salesmen were trapped in the back office | | | | Volkswagen regrouped, put the Golf on a strict diet |
| and just how to escape these impostors and inform | | | | and training regime, gave it a new wardrobe and |
| the police. Suddenly one of them pounced and asked if | | | | launched the Mk V GTi in 2005. To put the Elvis |
| he could help me and after looking gormlessly at him, I | | | | analogies to bed, the Mk V is the comeback special. |
| decided that in fact these guys were happy because | | | | Developing 200bhp from its 2.0 litre turbocharged |
| they were just, well happy. Me being the idiot that I am, | | | | engine, the GTi develops twice the torque of its great, |
| it turns out Volkswagen dealers only deal one form of | | | | great granddad the MK I, despite using no more fuel. A |
| drug, the very real, the very legal adrenaline. And small | | | | six speed gearbox is offered as is a sequential one to |
| wonder Volkswagen dealers' are smiling ear to ear, | | | | get your gear change time down to milliseconds. Plump |
| with their current line-up of vehicles, Volkswagen are | | | | for the sequential one however and not only can you |
| strongly positioned to become the market leader | | | | achieve 0-60 in 6.9 seconds, but you'll feel like a |
| across their range - most notably the dopamine | | | | Formula One driver with the flappy paddles behind the |
| deliverer, the Golf GTi. Ever since the MK I burst onto | | | | steering wheel. Pull up on the right to change up, up on |
| the scene in 1976, engulfed in a cloud of tyre smoke | | | | the left to change down, lo and behold you're Lewis |
| and snarling engine, the GTi name has always been | | | | Hamilton. Even the steering wheel itself gets in on the |
| synonymous with Volkswagen's 'hot hatch', in the | | | | act, with its flat bottom as useable as it is looking good. |
| same way that 'Stuck in the middle with you' by | | | | Better still is the exterior styling. Whereas the Mk III and |
| Steelers Wheel is no longer heard as a catchy pop | | | | IV were a Golf with a different badge and no other |
| song, but as the soundtrack to a policeman having | | | | discernable features, the latest offering again harks |
| un-consenting surgery in Reservoir Dogs - so mighty | | | | back to the golden years. A gaping black grill greets |
| was its impact things would never be the same again. | | | | you at the front, whilst huge exhausts hang proudly out |
| However as was the case with Elvis, as the king of | | | | at the rear. Five spoke alloy wheels that converge into |
| the road began to gain more and more accolades and | | | | five half circles finish the aggressive look. Hot hatches |
| success, the waste-line began to expand and its | | | | are back in vogue and Volkswagen want to shout |
| performance became slower and more laboured. | | | | about it. Bit of trivia for you, the word "Golf" doesn't |
| Heritage however counts for a lot and whenever a | | | | appear anywhere on the car. It's a GTi and nothing |
| Golf was bestowed the fabled 'GTi' badge, buyers | | | | else. "Yes, we had a little bit decaffeinated the GTI," |
| clamoured to have one on their driveways. Besides, an | | | | were the words of Jörn Hinrichs, Volkswagen's |
| overweight Golf GTi was still streets ahead of its | | | | marketing head upon the launch of this masterpiece. |
| rivals, as was the case with the Mk III and sales | | | | Having seen the enthusiasm of Volkswagen dealers |
| continued apace. However when the Mk IV was | | | | now they have such a special car on their forecourts, |
| launched to lukewarm reviews in 1999, it seemed the | | | | it appears they've been re-caffeinated too. |
| Golf had eaten its last burger. In fact the Mk IV was | | | | Tim Bristol is an experienced motor journalist currently |
| only badged 'GTi' in Britain and was called the | | | | working to promote Heritage Volkswagen a VW |
| 'Trendline' (oh dear) elsewhere. Elvis Impersonator | | | | dealer located between Bristol and Southampton. |