Buying New Car Blues

When we think of buying a new car, we rarelyhaverealize that there is NO ¡°soldline¡±.
the initial ¡°buying new car blues¡±,You wander on inside to ¡°give your
until thethoughts actually begin tooffer¡±¡­yourtwo kids and spouse
come¡­.thoughts ofactually having to goare being as patient as anyhumans could possibly
through the ugly process ofdealing with a dealership.be¡­giving you a quickglance every time and
¡°Why do we have to go throughagain to ensure that youhave not ¡°lost your
this,¡± is often oneof our first thoughts, aspatience yet¡±.
getting the blues is notwhat we actually desire. WeYou sit down in the booth¡­no
want this to be anenjoyable experience¡­onecalculator¡­nocomputers¡­no TV to
that we will rememberin a positive manner for yearspacify the kids¡­nonewspaper¡­no
to come¡­as weenjoy the new vehicle sittingnothing¡­and ¡°Gus¡±
in our driveway orgarage¡­or better yet asbegins askingyour life story. Name, Rank and Serial
we motor on down theroad¡­feeling the wayNumberplease. 87 references¡­.
this new baby takes thecorners.¡°And no¡­we will nevercall
However, there seems to be such a terrible tastein ourthem¡­it's just for the bank¡± is his
mouths after we have been through thetraditionalreply. Hethen whips out his ¡°4
process in America¡­which results in thesquare¡±¡­you know
¡°buying new car blues¡±.theone¡­the one by the end of the battle that
It's awful. Really it is. How can you take such ahugehas 18different colors of ¡°Sharpie¡±
occasion in someone's life and turn it intosuch aon it¡­telling you thatyou don't know a thing
miserable experience¡­well my opinion isyouabout automobiles¡­whatthey
just add the dealership to theequation¡­that'scost¡­and what you should pay. Talk
how. Awful!aboutdemoralizing¡­and the onslaught of
Buying New Car Blues is a phenomenon as far as Iam¡°buying newcar blues¡±.
concerned. You roll over in bed the morning ofyourYou finally agree to a price¡­a
purchase. You kiss your spouse or significantlovedpayment¡­and arepatted on the back from
one¡­knowing that today is the day thatFred¡­the CLOSER¡­ (hehas been
youwill add a new vehicle to the family. Veryat the dealership for more than 1 daywe are
excitingindeed.sure)¡­and assisted down the hall to meet
You pack up the car with the two kids (big mistakeas¡°JAKE¡±, the ¡°Business
you didn't remember that this process takeabout 20Manager¡± that is ¡°just goingto tie
hours) and you head on down to thedealership. Youup the paperwork¡­you know¡­dot
pull up to the lot and are greetedby a bigthe 'I's'and cross the 'T's'.
¡°cheesy¡± grin from a guy namedJake starts in on how stupid you would be if youdon't
Gus whoclaims that today is his first day.buy this and don't buy that¡­and how
He immediately begins with a line of questioningas ifyournew car is going to brake in half
you were being ¡°cross-examined¡±tomorrow¡­andyou better be
for arobbery down the street at the localcovered¡­¡­.sheesh. ENOUGH!
conveniencestore (mind you¡­today is his firstBuying new car blues! It is a phenomenon. Whatelse
day).could you have such great thoughts
You find the vehicle that you are interested in,driveof¡­thatultimately turn into such a terrible
it¡­then the real hell starts.experience?
As you return on your test drive¡­he throwsReally¡­I challenge you to find a distant rival.
thecorny line out¡­I advise everyone to pass on this experience
¡°Hey¡­why don't you park thealltogether¡­as there is a better
carover there in the sold line¡±? Ok,way¡­and a way toeliminate the
really¡­I am not 6years old¡­and I do¡°buying new car blues¡±.